the golden boys by Chirs Rose Every August. Every August for twelve years. Every August for twelve years we went to the same small town on holiday. Every August for twelve years we went to the same beach. Every August for twelve years my parents rented the same small house in the same small town near the same beach, so every morning of every August for twelve years I woke up and walked down to the same beach and sat under the same umbrella or on the same towel in front of the same sea. There was a small café on the beach where we sat every day, and every day Mr. Morelli in the café said “Good morning!” to my parents, and then always patted me on the head like a dog. Every day we walked down to our red and white umbrella, every day my father sat on his deckchair and read the newspaper then went to sleep, every day my mother went for a swim in the sea and then went to sleep. Every lunch time we ate the same cheese sandwiches which my mother made, and then every afternoon we went up to the café and ate an ice cream while my parents talked to Mr Morelli about the weather. Every summer for twelve years I sat there and read books and sometimes played volleyball with some of the other boys and girls who were there, but I never made any friends. It was so boring. Every August for twelve years the same family sat next to us. They were called the Hamiltons. We had a red and white umbrella, they had a green one. Every morning my parents said “Good morning!” to Mr and Mrs Hamilton, and Mr and Mrs Hamilton said “Good morning!” to my parents. Sometimes they talked about the weather. Mr and Mrs Hamilton had two sons. Richard was the same age as me, and his brother Philip was two years older than me. Richard and Philip were both taller than me. Richard and Philip were very friendly, and both very handsome. They were much friendlier and more handsome than me. They made friends with everyone, and organised the games of volleyball on the beach or swimming races in the sea with the other children. They always won the games of volleyball and the swimming races. My parents liked Richard and Philip a lot. “Why can’t you be more like Richard and Philip?” they said to me. “Look at them! They make friends with everyone! They are polite, good boys! You just sit here reading books and doing nothing!” I, of course, hated them. Richard and Philip, Richard and Philip, Richard and Philip – it was all I ever heard from my parents every August for twelve years. Richard and Philip were perfect. Everything about them was better than anything about me. Even their green beach umbrella was better than our red and white one. I was sixteen years old the last summer we went there. Perfect Richard and perfect Philip came to the beach one day and said that they were going to have a barbecue at lunch time. They were going to cook for everyone! “Forget your cheese sandwiches”, they laughed, “Come and have some hamburgers or barbecue chicken with us! We’re going to cook!” My parents, of course, thought this was wonderful. “Look at how good Richard and Philip are! They’re going to do a barbecue and they’ve invited everybody! You couldn’t organise a barbecue!” Every summer for twelve years, on the other side of my family, sat Mrs Moffat. Mrs Moffat was a very large woman who came to the same beach every summer for twelve years on her own. Nobody knew if she had a husband or a family, but my parents said that she was very rich. Mrs Moffat always came to the beach wearing a large hat, a pair of sunglasses and a gold necklace. She always carried a big bag with her. She never went swimming, but sat under her umbrella reading magazines until lunchtime when she went home. Richard and Philip, of course, also invited Mrs Moffat to their barbecue. Richard and Philip’s barbecue was, of course, a great success. About twenty people came and Richard and Philip cooked lots of hamburgers and chicken and made a big salad and brought big pieces of watermelon and everyone laughed and joked and told Mr and Mrs Hamilton how wonderful their sons were. I ate one hamburger and didn’t talk to anybody. After a while, I left, and made sure that nobody saw me leave. Mrs Moffat ate three plates of chicken and two hamburgers. After that she said she was very tired and was going to go and have a sleep. She walked over to her umbrella and sat down on her deckchair and went to sleep. When she woke up later, everybody on the beach was surprised to hear her screaming and shouting. “My bag!!!! My bag!!!” she shouted. “It’s gone!!! It’s GONE!!!” Everybody on the beach ran over to Mrs Moffat to see what the problem was. “Someone has taken my bag!!!” she screamed, “Someone has stolen my bag!!!” “Impossible!” said everybody else. “This is a very safe, friendly beach! There are no thieves here!” But it was true. Mrs Moffat’s big bag wasn’t there anymore. Nobody had seen any strangers on the beach during the barbecue, so they thought that Mrs Moffat had perhaps taken her bag somewhere and forgotten it. Mr Morelli from the café organised a search of the beach. Everybody looked everywhere for Mrs Moffat’s big bag. Eventually, they found it. My father saw it hidden in the sand under a deckchair. A green deckchair. Richard and Philip’s deckchair. My father took it and gave it back to Mrs Moffat. Everybody looked at Richard and Philip. Richard and Philip, the golden boys, stood there looking surprised. Of course, they didn’t know what to say. Mrs Moffat looked in her bag. She started screaming again. Her purse with her money in it wasn’t in the big bag. “My purse!” she shouted, “My purse has gone! Those boys have stolen it! They organised a barbecue so they could steal my purse!” Everybody tried to explain to Mrs Moffat that this couldn’t possibly be true, but Mrs Moffat called the police. The police arrived and asked golden Richard and golden Philip lots of questions. Richard and Philip couldn’t answer the questions. Eventually, they all got into a police car and drove away to the police station. I sat there, pretending to read my book and trying to hide a big, fat purse under the sand on the beach. That was the last summer we went to the beach. My parents never talked about Richard and Philip again. THE END . He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good. Confucius I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty... But I am too busy thinking about myself. Edith Sitwell  Life is a long lesson in humility. James M. Barrie Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend. Jules Renard Modesty is a shining light; it prepares the mind to receive knowledge, and the heart for truth. Madam Guizot I am no more humble than my talents require. Oscar Levant If I only had a little humility, I'd be perfect. Ted Turner Acting is not being emotional, but being able to express emotion. Kate Reid I have long since come to believe that people never mean half of what they say, and that it is best to disregard their talk and judge only their actions. Dorothy Day I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts. John Locke Strong reasons make strong actions. William Shakespeare Half the money I spend on advertising is wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half. John Wanamaker You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements. Norman Douglas Advertising may be described as the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it. Stephen Leacock Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. Thomas Jefferson I read no newspaper now but Ritchie's, and in that chiefly the advertisements, for they contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. Thomas Jefferson What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public. Vilhjalmur Stefansson Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. Aesop It is very difficult to live among people you love and hold back from offering them advice. Anne Tyler People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly. Brendan Francis Ask advice only of your equals. Danish Proverb Please give me some good advice in your next letter. I promise not to follow it. Edna St. Vincent Millay (1892 - 1950), Letters Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not at present. English Proverb Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. Erica Jong I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite. G. K. Chesterton Never give advice unless asked. German Proverb Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. Gordon R. Dickson The true secret of giving advice is, after you have honestly given it, to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right. Hannah Whitall Smith I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Harry S Truman   Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble. Sidney J. Harris In giving advice, seek to help, not please your friend. Solon Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry. Spanish Proverb Beware of the young doctor and the old barber. Benjamin Franklin To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. Bernard M. Baruch   Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength. Betty Friedan There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you. Carol Matthau Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you. Cyril Connolly The great secret that all old people share is that you really haven't changed in 70 or 80 years. Your body changes, but you don't change at all. Doris Lessing The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. Doug Larson Though it sounds absurd, it is true to say I felt younger at sixty than I felt at twenty. Ellen Glasgow The longer I live the more beautiful life becomes. Frank Lloyd Wright Age to me means nothing. I can't get old; I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age. George Burns   I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect. George Burns   About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age. Gloria Pitzer   Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. Groucho Marx The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. H. L. Mencken . My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me. Benjamin Disraeli   It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. Charles Baudelaire Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness. Cullen Hightower We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us. Francois de La Rochefoucauld If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking. Lyndon B. Johnson I don't necessarily agree with everything I say. Marshall McLuhan If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong. Mo Udall Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. Oscar Wilde The greatest mistake is trying to be more agreeable than you can be. Walter Bagehot When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary. William Wrigley Jr. America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. Arnold Toynbee  There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America. Bill Clinton   America's one of the finest countries anyone ever stole. Bobcat Goldthwaite There's the country of America, which you have to defend, but there's also the idea of America. America is more than just a country, it's an idea. An idea that's supposed to be contagious. Bono There is nothing wrong with America that the faith, love of freedom, intelligence and energy of her citizens cannot cure. Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969) The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced. Frank Zappa England and America are two countries separated by a common language. George Bernard Shaw America is a young country with an old mentality. George Santayana America has never been an empire. We may be the only great power in history that had the chance, and refused – preferring greatness to power and justice to glory. George W. Bush America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. George W. Bush America will never run... And we will always be grateful that liberty has found such brave defenders. George W. Bush In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is. Gertrude Stein   What's right about America is that although we have a mess of problems, we have great capacity - intellect and resources - to do some thing about them. Henry Ford II This is the story of America. Everybody's doing what they think they're supposed to do. Jack Kerouac In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything. Jeffery F. Chamberlain America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class. Judith Martin, The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. King Edward VIII Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were. Cherie Carter-Scott When anger rises, think of the consequences. Confucius If you would cure anger, do not feed it. Say to yourself: 'I used to be angry every day; then every other day; now only every third or fourth day.' When you reach thirty days offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving to the gods. Epictetus Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last. Greg Evans Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry. Henry Ward Beecher Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret. Laurence J. Peter Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change. Malcolm X I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry. Maxine Waters My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years. Cathy Ladman He who strikes the first blow admits he's lost the argument. Chinese Proverb I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. Dave Barry Use soft words and hard arguments. English Proverb The most perfidious way of harming a cause consists of defending it deliberately with faulty arguments. Friedrich Nietzsche   The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion. G. K. Chesterton No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other. Jascha Heifetz If you go in for argument, take care of your temper. Your logic, if you have any, will take care of itself. Joseph Farrell Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. Josh Billings Behind every argument is someone's ignorance. Louis D. Brandeis Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing. Oscar Wilde It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them. Pierre Beaumarchais In a heated argument we are apt to lose sight of the truth. Publilius Syrus The argument is at an end. Saint Augustine It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in argument. William G. McAdoo With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plea; but to tyrants I will give no quarter, nor waste arguments where they will certainly be lost. William Lloyd Garrison For they are yet ear-kissing arguments. William Shakespeare   [Abstract art is] a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. Al Capp Art is the imposing of a pattern on experience, and our aesthetic enjoyment is recognition of the pattern. Alfred North Whitehead Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. Ambrose Bierce Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in. Amy Lowell Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better. Andre Gide Let each man exercise the art he knows. Aristophanes I believe that if it were left to artists to choose their own labels, most would choose none. Ben Shahn So you see, imagination needs moodling - long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling and puttering. Brenda Ueland I suppose no matter what I'm drawing, there will always be some sort of question in my mind about it. A work of art (even cartoon art)is never really finished; it is abandoned. Brooke McEldowney, I can't criticize what I don't understand. If you want to call this art, you've got the benefit of all my doubts. Charles Rosin, Art is born of the observation and investigation of nature. Cicero Art forms of the past were really considered elitist. Bach did not compose for the masses, neither did Beethoven. It was always for patrons, aristocrats, and royalty. Now we have a sort of democratic version of that, which is to say that the audience is so splintered in its interests. David Cronenberg, Rocketboom, The idea of a mass audience was really an invention of the Industrial Revolution. David Cronenberg, I merely took the energy it takes to pout and wrote some blues. Duke Ellington Works of art, in my opinion, are the only objects in the material universe to possess internal order, and that is why, though I don't believe that only art matters, I do believe in Art for Art's sake. E. M. Forster Another unsettling element in modern art is that common symptom of immaturity, the dread of doing what has been done before. Edith Wharton Art is on the side of the oppressed. Think before you shudder at the simplistic dictum and its heretical definition of the freedom of art. For if art is freedom of the spirit, how can it exist within the oppressors? Edith Wharton A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world. Edmond de Goncourt Illusions are art, for the feeling person, and it is by art that you live, if you do. Elizabeth Bowen Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything. Eugene Delacroix Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. Frank Zappa I paint my own reality. The only thing I know is that I paint because I need to, and I paint whatever passes through my head without any other consideration. Frida Kahlo Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere. G. K. Chesterton A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Herm Albright   I happen to feel that the degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic. Lisa Alther, Kinflicks, Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about. Lynn Johnston A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. Patricia Neal Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives. William James The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind. William James   A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Bob Hope Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. E. Joseph Cossman A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mark Twain The first question I ask myself when something doesn't seem to be beautiful is why do I think it's not beautiful. And very shortly you discover that there is no reason. John Cage I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may - light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful. John Constable Rarely do great beauty and great virtue dwell together. Petrarch When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. R. Buckminster Fuller Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking. Albert Einstein   This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop. Alfred Hitchcock Bülent Göksal   EnglishEver © 2008   Thanks to